Pater Familias … because I’m your FATHER!

Never Again - Morning Homework

February 3, 2010 · Behavior | School

Do I really have to learn everything the hard way? Do you?

To Teacher, Pater Must Tell Shameful Truth

Damn you, Bonnie the Cat.

Because of you, I have to email Mrs. Taylor, Girl Child’s first grade teacher, expanding on my earlier scrawl on a damp page fragment in the composition book in which GC does her homework.

The note indicated that the missing part of yesterday’s assignment will be in tomorrow. I two-worded the reason – household accident.

What happened was, Bonnie knocked over a vase of flowers on the kitchen table, causing water to spill out onto, among other things, GC’s homework book. Quick-thinking Pater shook off the excess and cut out a couple pages so wet they threatened others. The kid’s number problems survived. Alas, we could not save Language Arts.

Right now I must email Mrs. Taylor, because GC has already – bet all you own on it – told her all about the cat and water and her homework. And that worries me more and more because it’s way too close to, “I don’t have my book report because my dog ate it.” Slippery slope, bro. Start stuff like that in First Grade, and it gets on the permanent record, forget about Stanford or Brown.

Take me just a sec…

Now, back from emailing, I am surprised at my own refreshing candor and full acceptance of responsibility.

Blame me, Teacher, and not Bonnie the Cat. It was I who let my child goof around last night and do homework in the AM. Then, this morning, I only yelled upstairs while she stretched out selection of the day’s outfit for, like, 10 extra minutes. That meant she had to do an emergency hurry-up job of alphabetizing this week’s 12 spelling words.

Minutes, that all we had. Truth be told, Girl Child was only on word three when the cat knocked over the vase. By then it was too late to do anything but save the notebook and roll.

Bad dad. Double bad because last night I looked at the assignment and knew we would be cutting it very close, time-wise. End of a crap-o day, you know?

Never, never, never again. We do homework when we’re supposed to.

More shame: Girl Child was officially marked late. This I know because we got a robo-call, reminding us to get our child to school on time.

Side issue: What committee of educators decided on this pretentious fuzzhead designation Language Arts? What was wrong with English, the language the kids are mastering, am I right? Is her Spanish class las artes de idiomas? Remind me to rant about this later.

Ever let things slide yourself, even knowing you'd be sorry? Go on, tell....

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Weekly News

Trifecta Winner

February 4, 2010 · Comment of the Week | Weekly News

Don’t you wish you had it wired like Purple Anjel?

Reads way back, writes deep, does this comment virtuosa Purple Anjel, who posted three gems, any of which could have been Comment of the Week.

Purple’s comeback to Loneliest Number Is Three comes out on top just because subject post was most recent.. Good usable info here, too, on how to make a three-girl playdate not so contentious and annoying to parents:

jouez a trois?

Possible, but MUST be more structured. Beforehand ask GC what she wants to do for the day, and let her know she needs to stick to it. Have the tools ready to go and as long as there is stuff to put their hands on, (projects, not free play, til a few tries later) things should go smoothly.

And you gotta love this one, on Shoot The Care Bear:

So GC's fiance, (my son) and I hunt when we are out in public. We see any women or tweens in zebra-print we do what every other set of mother/son lions you know do. We chant, "zebra zebra, kill kill." and follow them around as if we are stalking through the savannah until it is no longer in our time constraints to do so.

Little bit sick and twisted. And the lion/cub thing, oh yeah. Mama has teeth.

Reference to our children’s future arranged marriage – works fine for a billion people in India – gives away the fact that this is a family friend. This does not bar her from winning, though.

More good stuff and leonine mothering in Purple Anjel’s response to Beastly Dad. Conciliatory mother-son texting after she's a beast warm the heart.

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No Is New Yes

January 29, 2010 · Activities | Behavior | Influences | Suburban Survival

Do you and your kid(s) find happiness in refusal?

Pink backpack with happy flower - illustration by Peter Arkle.

Negative Responses Liberate Positive Energy

Okay, that’s it. Five minutes after eight, right when we said we’d stop the movie and go upstairs to get ready for bed.

Girl Child acts panicky – “But this is my favorite part! It’ll be over in just a minute.”

Cajoling – “It’s really funny. And I want you to see it.”

Indignant – “You said a half-hour. I only got to watch 20 Minutes!”

Yeah, well, Minerva and…

read on »

Loneliest Number Is Three

January 26, 2010 · Activities | Behavior | Help Pater

Why must triple-kid playdates end in tears?

Ballet dancers - illustration by Peter Arkle.

Hold Line At One Friend Over At A Time

Can’t blame my one and only for saying “Yes” when Girl Child’s friend from up the block calls and asks if it’s okay to come over. Minerva spends less time with the Wrenmead Street pup she-wolves, and by reflex we welcome play dates.

Today, however, GC’s friend from across the street, like her a six-year-old, just showed up. The girls want to watch part of The Chronicles Of Narnia before dinnertime.

…

read on »

Pater’s Plays

Coal Miner’s Daughter by Loretta Lynn

Comfort here for Dads laid off or otherwise hurtin'. It's the love, not the dollars, that kids will thank you for. Lynn tells how true this is in 1970 Country super-hit. Ten years later came the singer's smash biopic, same name as song. A miner's girl Loretta was, and she didn't forget it or let fans forget. Be nice to think we're all earning such gratitude and family pride.

See Daddy of all Playlists