Pater Familias … because I'm your FATHER!

Child Can Swear On Very Special Day

February 12, 2010 · Behavior | Influences

Isn’t control better parenting than outright curse-word prohibition?

Hearts, Flowers, Strong Adult Language On G*d D*mn Valentines

- Please Daddy.

- No, honey, not yet.    

- Please, just a little bit.

- I know how hard it is to wait. But it’s just like Christmas. If we opened all the presents early, we’d spoil it.

Kids and holidays, right? I feel for Girl Child, I really do, but she has to wait to use foul language until G*d D*mn Valentines Day, which she’s not even supposed to say until February 14, in our house the one day she can curse with no frowning-on by mom or dad.

Within limits, of course. She’s only six, and although we cut her some slack on bad words (see Potty Mouth post), swearing still is taboo – for her, anyway.

Cannot, for the life of me, remember how Valentines became our official bad word amnesty day. Girl Child’s favorite preschool teacher, now adjunct family, says GC first mentioned it to her when she was three.

Back then GC pushed the language envelope more than she does now – a new way to get a rise out of grownups, right? – and I happened to read an online discussion about the kiddy profanity problem. One mama wrote that her kids could swear, but only in some extremely narrow, short-term situation. Forget the particulars, but the principle -- that control is better than outright forbidding -- seemed sound.   

Lucky for us it came together at this time of year, because Valentines is the perfect third-tier holiday. G*d d*mn Thanksgiving wouldn’t work – think of the grannies and other dinner guests. Christmas or Easter go way over the line, even in an irreligious household like ours. Fourth of July, you might as well burn the flag.

Don’t get the wrong idea here. Nobody goes crazy. We have G*d d*mn Valentines Day rules.

• Only in the bosom of the family.  
• Any other day, G*d d*mn is seriously frowned on.  
• Nothing really shocking and lewd. F***ing Valentines Day, for instance, would not fly. We stay in the D*mn and H*ll and Son of a B*tch Zone.
• Absolutely no swearing at or about people.    

As practical parenting and curse-word deterrent, our special Valentines works pretty well. It drains away bad language’s special power, the forbidden fruit thing, and makes it a joke. And overuse causes boredom. Late in the day last year, I had to remind our child to keep cursing.

That’s our Valentines, what’s yours? And how do you handle your kid(s) cursing?  

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