Pater Familias … because I'm your FATHER!

Minerva Discovers Rule Of Three

November 20, 2009 · Behavior | Influences | Suburban Survival

What if one/all of yours were triplets?

Imaginary Multiples For Enhanced Clarity

Minerva, in case you’re wondering, is blognamed after the Roman Goddess of Wisdom.

True story.

One of many that show why Minerva is a Big City Suit and I do, uh, this. It happened way back when we lived in Phoenix.

One day Minerva took a hike and saw a rattlesnake on the trail. It lounged, oblivious, and Minerva  tossed a stone, causing it to coil up and rattle.  

Thus the snake did a private live demo of a rattler’s sonic warning, which Minerva had never heard.

Can you imagine? She meets a venomous reptile and gains valuable information. My Lady M gets it, works it, whatever “it” might be.

Just lately she cracked an important part of the parenting code – the part about getting your Scheiss together, keeping things in order.

The catalyst was a favorite family here on Wrenmead Street. I call them, with permission, Swiss Family Superior (SFS). Parents Helvetia (the Swiss) and Robert and their second-grader triplets, a boy and two girls.

Our families have grown closer. Very cool for me, because I like them and also want to be these people.

No, not true. I do not want three children. But other stuff, like Helvetia’s perfect fluency in two languages, virtuosity on the family Steinway, Robert’s achievements in photography (guy has work in the Museum of Modern Art) takes me to a place beyond envy. Maybe in the next life…

And the kids, the kids. Music lessons, sports, academic excellence, high-level imaginative play. I mean they could charge for in-house playdates.

Just thinking of SFS, I feel like a lifelong slacker turd, also that I’m failing Girl Child. My thing, not theirs. SFS are a lot of fun, and we’d be friends if they were only SF.

So one day, with Minerva, I marvel at the smooth, organized, on-time operation of SFS and wonder if it’s some unattainable Swiss-ness.  

“It’s the triplets,” Minerva says.

If we had three GCs, she goes on, we’d be more like them. No choice. 

When in doubt, says Minerva, “Just ask yourself what you’d do if you had triplets.”

And there it is, Minerva’s Rule Of Three. Like “What would Jesus do?” for parents.

If we had a three-fer, would Daddy put up with so much screechy, disorganized, brain-sucking nonsense?

You tell me.

The Rule Of Three thing could really work, but only if I worked it, which I probably won’t.

And GC probably doesn’t want to be triplets.

Maybe it’s time to embrace disarray as if we believe in it. 

AFC, American Family Chaotic, and aren’t we special?

So what if you had three-fer(s)?

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