No-TV Blowback

Thinking about weaning kid(s) off the screen? Already did?

TV - illustration by Peter Arkle.

Disarmed, Almost De-Fingered, By Media Ban

Parenting rule of rules: The Law Of Unintended Consequences.

Do some right-minded thing, and suffer weird side effects.

I give you…

  • A sudden longing for the days when the Old Man, after all else failed, felt free to whack his kid on the ass.
  • Severe injuries to tips of three fingers in accident with table saw.

Mind heals more slowly than body, so skip the fingers. No loss here, because the person who got cause-and-effect rolling would be far more amazed to learn that she pushed me toward daydream corporal punishment. (Bad Pater bad).

Ultra Parent, I shall call her, with utmost respect. UP is star and player/coach of first-squad progenitors at Big Brick Elementary, mother of a fave friend of Girl Child (great kid), and a practicing psychologist. This woman I study, looking for moves to knock off. When she talks, I listen.

Which is why we went TV-less about a month ago, same day UP spoke at Big Brick PTA about weaning kids off screens. Female-specifics, especially body image warped by figments like Hannah Montana, rang like a bell. Right then GC was obsessing about thigh size. I already felt squeamy about Hannah and other tweener shows – instruction in slacking and precocious sluttiness, if you ask me.

So no TV.

The child amazed me by not caring.

I, however, cared after this hit me: No TV, no more “No TV!” my failsafe privilege loss, threatened and/or real, since GC was three. Who knows why it worked so well, considering she’s fine with no TV, but who cares? It will work for me no more.

And so, very briefly, thoughts of spanking. Whack! Instant compliance. But forget it, corporal’s not us.

I rejoice in recent good-enough behavior, so I haven’t gone to loss of playdate – a double-edged sword that could hurt me more than the kid.

But No TV is great. Sort of like exercise and low-fat food, we just feel better, healthier. GC says she’s happier doing art. In service of that, I put together a new arts-and-crafts center in the basement – shelving, work surfaces, fluorescent lights, big enough for GC and friends.

With the thing complete, to general delight, I got a notion to make an organizer for paint brushes, pencils, and such. No need, just guilding the lily – and I table-sawed my fingers.

Stop.

No TV is a wonder. Try.

Got a TV ban in mind? Already there? Ruling it out?

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Comments

Love the blog! Entertaining and insightful.

Good on ya for silencing the idiot tube. The less my son watches, the smarter he gets. I grounded him from TV last week and the kid learned how to read.

Sorry about your fingers. I’m sure IKEA makes craft organizers…

Comment #1, posted by Jen Anesi on October 27, 2009 at 03:31:47 PM

Thanks for nice words. I’ll try to keep you entertained. And good on ya, Jen, for getting Junior TV-less and literate.
But you know, you are the second mother to get smart-ass about IKEA and my unfortunate incident with the table saw.
Don’t any of you female people get it? This is more than making stupid things with power tools that I don’t really know how to use. In his basement workshop a man, all on his own, faces the great Home Depot Bull.
Would you say to a brave matador that beef is better from the store, and he should get in the ring with a guineau pig because it can’t possibly hurt him?
Of course not.
Except maybe you would. 
Guys get it, but they don’t do comments so much.
Thanks again for yours.
P

Comment #2, posted by Pater on October 27, 2009 at 06:17:53 PM

The No TV Parents are the same ones that jam string beans down the kids throat and plop down in front of the TV eating skinny cow ice cream once the kids have gone to bed. You meet them for the first time and within FIVE minutes they’re gloating about their TV BAN like smug little power patrollers.
Instead of yammering about banning all of television - why not take the time to let the kid watch the good stuff?  Millions of dollars are spent to produce television programming about every aspect of life.  You’re telling me that you can’t limit TV watching time and find one program that would educate, encourage or entertain your child using the magical medium of video and audio? Instead, they are banned from it?
What’s the next ban? Sugar?

Comment #3, posted by Debbie on October 27, 2009 at 08:58:18 PM

Ouch!!  Isn’t it hard to type with three fingers out of commission?

Comment #4, posted by mj on October 28, 2009 at 01:23:21 AM

Pater welcomes first blast of hostility! And a very good one. My responses to last two:

Debbie - How do you know about the string beans? No, really? Are you in the van parked out front?
In agreement about worthwhile TV content, but see no need to screen screening. Effort/benefit much more favorable to put child in front of, you know, 3-D, surround reality.
I do believe the industry will survive without us. Some of my bestest friends are in it.
What’s this about sugar? White Death! None in this house, ever. (Kidding) Thanks, P

mj - It was challenging, thank you for asking, but much less so now. Hand-surgeon has signed off and removed bandages. Digits work, but you don’t want to look at the one that took the worst hit. Eew, says child. Best, P

Comment #5, posted by Pater on October 28, 2009 at 06:58:12 AM

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