Pater Familias … because I'm your FATHER!

I don’t think that girls are meaner than boys but I do believe they “fight” differently ...psychological warfare instead of physical aggression.  Our society teaches us from an early age that it is not ladylike to hit, punch, push, etc..  But it is permissable to use tears to get our way!  An approach that boys are taught is used only by girls and sissies.  We learn subtle methods for bending the will of others.  Their long term effects may be more negative than the masculine punch and be friends again. In that sense, females may be meaner.  However, I don’t think anyone is advocating that girls use the physical methods of boys.  No wonder both sexes need to learn how to be assertive without being aggressive!

While both boys and girls have equal potential for cruelty, I think psychological abuse is pretty much ignored, especially in the school environment. In elementary school, I remember that boys who would be physically violent and intimidating would usually get punished. Yet, psychological attacks and harassment, most often dished out by girls, went unaddressed. I remember feeling angry at the adults for condoning that behaviour through inaction. It felt like, as children, we were left in a vacuum, a little subculture where the moral values we were taught in theory weren’t fully enforced.

Even in high school (in my case, an all-girl private school), teachers turned a blind eye to obvious cases of mental and verbal abuse. It was simply bizarre to have them admonish us at lenght over a shirt that wasn’t tucked in, yet not voice a single word against viciously harassing another human being.

I certainly don’t think all girls are cruel and catty witches, but I think the desire to be accepted and popular can go out of hand if left unchecked. It’s important to teach them early on to recognize pettiness and mob mentality for what they truly are.