Pater Familias … because I'm your FATHER!

Mama goes Eww when you're a dork, just like chicks used to when you were single, with same result -- catastrophic loss of your sex appeal. This compendium of Eww by snark queens Ellen Rakieten and Anne Coyle, shows everything not to do -- like, say, wearing Crocs,  sideways baseball caps, dad jeans, or sagging and flashing butt crack. Lose the Segway and pet snake, too. Read and learn. Pater, who has been married since the Bronze Age, picked up a couple pointers and -- swear it's true -- got a little extra admiration from Minerva last weekend. Big yucks from bitchy words and pics of guys gone wrong. Gift anybody, either gender.  Paperback, 181 pages, from Villard Books, imprint of Random House. Undateable website. Ten bucks from Amazon.com, where trollish reader/reviewers took the thing way too seriously.